No, I'm not talking about Iraq -- I'm talking about the US Presidential primary races. Right now there are some 20-odd candidates vying to be the Democratic and Republican presidential candidates in the 2008 election. That's only two spots, guys, so most of you are going home disappointed.

By all accounts, less than half of you can be considered front-runners by any stretch of the imagination. That means more than half are seriously dreaming.

Now, I'm all for chasing down your dreams and such, but we're at the point when most of you fringe candidates should be packing it in. (You know who you are...) Anybody polling in the single digits in Iowa, New Hampshire, and other early primary states should just face up to reality and drop out. You're just wasting valuable press time that could be devoted to important issues like what Obama looks like in a bathing suit and where Giuliani's second wife went to grammar school. The American people need time to climb up every orifice of every candidate, and you're just getting in the way.

"Cut and run" has been promoted heavily by many of our finest leaders, including some of you, so it's time you guys took it to heart. It's in our best interests, isn't it?

(Pick your favorite Republican and Democratic candidates.)

The US Congress has had sharp words for the Iraqi government's lack of progress in meeting key milestones. I wonder how that very Congress would fare in an evaluation of they're own performance?

Remember the "First 100 days" commitment...?

Day One: Put new rules in place to "break the link between lobbyists and legislation."

Day Two: Enact all the recommendations made by the commission that investigated the terrorist attacks of Sept. 11, 2001.

Time remaining until 100 hours: Raise the minimum wage to $7.25 an hour, maybe in one step. Cut the interest rate on student loans in half. Allow the government to negotiate directly with the pharmaceutical companies for lower drug prices for Medicare patients.

Broaden the types of stem cell research allowed with federal funds.

All the days after that: 'Pay as you go,' meaning no increasing the deficit, whether the issue is middle class tax relief, health care or some other priority.

Now I can't recall all of this, so help me out:

1. The link between lobbyists and legislators seems as solid as ever. The tough stand against earmarks? It's easy to say you'll eliminate earmarks if you decide to call them something else instead.
2. The 9/11 commission recommendations? I don't think much progress was made there.
3. The minimum wage hike certainly didn't get accomplished in the first 100 days. In fact, the House passed a bill, the Senate passed a different one, and it sat stuck in limbo for a couple of months until it got snuck into an Iraq funding bill. Now there's some fine leadership that's sure to inspire the Iraqi ministers...
4. Interest rate cut for students? Surely we would have heard about that one.
   
5. Nothing has changed with the pharmaceutical companies.
6. Stem cell research changes? Nope.
   

No, the performance on these milestones has been woefully inadequate. The US Congress should be glad they aren't being graded, and if they were they'd find themselves behind the Iraqis. Maybe we should learn some things from them instead...

Back in May, critics were jumping all over themselves to write things off. It was hopeless, they argued, and there was no point in continuing any longer. The leaders on the ground, discouraged as they surely must have been with their progress to date, nonetheless councilled a wait and see approach.

Fast forward four months later. With the best record in major league baseball since the all-star break, the New York Yankees are now sitting pretty atop of the AL wildcard race and and potentially poised to snatch the division lead away from the hated Boston Red Sox. (I refuse to acknowledge their so-called 'nation' -- it takes more than a marketing team to create a real nation, as the people of Iraq can confirm...)

I don't know what the remaining two weeks will bring, but I do know that I anxiously await the opportunity to sit in front of my television (or, if possible, in the nosebleed seats at Yankee Stadium) to watch my Yankees battle through the playoffs.

The surge has been successful so far, producing solid results. Let's not stop until we achieve victory!

I heard that Led Zeppelin is reuniting (sort of) for a mega concert, and it got me thinking about bass players. When the original drummer died, the remaining three decided it was time to call it -- they couldn't go on without him. Fair enough...

A few years ago, the singer and guitarist decided to get together and do some old Zep stuff. Where was the bass player?

This cavalier treatment of bass players is not isolated to Zeppelin, though. How many has Metallica gone through? How about Guns n Roses? Hell, the Doors never even bothered to staff the position full-time. And Van Halen decided to reunite the original lineup, but... no original bass player!

Am I being overly sensitive because I play bass, or is this a vast conspiracy equal to the Trilateral Commission or The Marked? 

Earlier this month there was an "incident" where Israeli planes dropped bombs in Northern Syria. The Syrians claimed that the Israelis violated their airspace and that they dumped the bombs while they were being driven off. The Israelis hadn't said much of anything, until this week.

Opposition party leader Benjamin Netanyahu, in an interview earlier this week, congratulated the Prime Minister on his bold strategic move of his decision to bomb Syria. But why? What was bombed, and why isn't there more outcry?

This whole thing reminds me of when I was a kid and Mom would walk in on a dispute between me and my sister. We were arguing of course, but about something we weren't supposed to be doing, so there was no way we were going to explain ourselves or ask her to  mediate.

So, again, what was going on in Northern Syria that neither side wants to fess up to?

In the Simpson's Movie, Arnold Schwarzenegger is President of the United States. This would seem to indicate that cartoon civics joins cartoon physics as being outside of reality, since he was born in Thal, Austria and (according to Section I, Article II of the US Constitution) is ineligible to hold that office.

Much talk has circulated over the years regarding a Constitutional Amendment that would eliminate the requirement that Presidential candidates be "natural born citizens," but that process could take so long that Arnold could be dead and buried before it comes to pass.

I have an alternate idea that could make him eligible right now...

All we need to do is contract with the government of Austria to purchase and annex the town of Thal for one day -- July 30, 1947, Arnold's date of birth. We then contract to sell Thal back to the Austrian government dated August 1, 1947, and give the Austrians something for their trouble. That makes the town official US territory for that one day, making everyone born there on that day a US natural born citizen.

So, Austria, how much will it take to do the deal?